So nobody was going to tell me I was out here buying love🤦🏾♀️?? I remember when Mookie (my childhood best friend) moved next door to us…I was about 9!! We were doing the typical kid bragging. She had the Barbie plane but I one up’d her by having the Barbie Jeep AND the Barbie Boat!! She made an offer “let me have them and I’ll be your friend” so here I am saying my final goodbyes and crying my face off when my grandma spotted me and wanted to know why the hell I was crying 😩😭 “Mookie said she won’t be my friend unless I give her my Barbie Jeep and Boat” if you know me then you know my grandma and you KNOW she cursed Mookie tf out “fuck her you don’t need no friends ” 😩😂😩 I think that was the start of it!! I’ve given so much shit away for the sake of being liked/loved or having a friend!! But it just recently dawned on me that over the years I’ve been doing the same things with men and relationships!! In college there was Taj…I bought shoes, iPhones, etc , then there was Simon I bought plane tickets, guns, etc ….and most recently there was “B” I was actually about to add him to my flight benefits before I found out he really didn’t even like me….and this is after I got him gifts for Valentine’s Day and didn’t get anything in return!!
I honestly had no idea I was doing this!! My gestures have always came from a genuine place and my intentions have always been good!! The crazy part is these are characters of my mom!! She didn’t really know how to love anyone but she’d buy the shit out of some gifts!! I recognized early on that material things would never fill the void of companionship but subconsciously I’ve been filling voids with material shit!! I don’t regret the things I’ve given but it makes me sad that I didn’t realize early on how amazing my presence was….whole time I was the gift and didn’t know it!! 💁🏾👸🏾😎
It’s so important that we let young girls know that they are gifts!! There’s no gift or amount of money that exceeds self-worth!!! There’s nothing she has to give because she is the gift of life itself!!! This needs to be said WE need to hear it, recognize, etc… I could have saved much damn money bruh🤦🏾♀️😩😭😂