#GetOverItSis

9 days before my 28th birthday at 3:36am I could possibly be laying here tossing and turning and BOTHERED by some shit that happened when I was 7🤦🏾‍♀️ lol 

Cancers are known for forgiving but not forgetting but I really wish I would forget some shit!! I’m currently in a situation where a guy clearly wants to date me and has been COMPLETELY honest about his past and endeavors and for the life of me I can’t get over it! Wait, but not only can I not get over it I can’t address it as an adult to try and move forward either! So I’m stuck sulking in it…using my imagination (in the worse way of course) to fill in the blanks! 

This leads me to wonder some things 🤔 am I accustomed to getting lied to , does the truth hurt more than a lie, and how many great things have I missed out because I couldn’t get over a small detail?? This current situation is literally eating me alive. I asked a question and he told the truth and I can’t seem to gather myself now🤦🏾‍♀️ the silly thing is if he would have lied to me we’d be in a better situation….I mean I wouldn’t be up at 3:48am putting imaginary pieces to an imaginary puzzle together 😩 which leads me to believe I haven’t found happiness in a man because I haven’t discovered the art of letting go…of getting over shit…of living in my truth and accepting someone else’s!!!

That’s where sabotage comes in, but thats a whole new blog🤦🏾‍♀️

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Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,
I hope that you are preparing yourself for me as I am preparing myself for you!! I’ve dreamed of you my entire life….and if you’re reading this then dreams really do come true!! I’d like you to know that I may be difficult, unintentionally of course. I have not yet witnessed love it’s pure form…I have practiced a few times but they weren’t you so it didn’t work! I’ve been a sucker for friends my entire life but I hope you’re ok with being my best friend above all else!! I promise to always laugh at your corny jokes and cheer for your team unless you’re a Cowboys fan…but then again I know God wouldn’t send me a Cowboys fan!! Lol I hope I find you while we are both young enough to have kids…it’s very important to me to have a few kids that have my eyes, your nose, my laugh, your charm, and probably your hair but we can decide on that part later. I like the names Bailey and Brody but I’ll take your input into consideration 😜 but before kids I’d like to travel with you…that’s when I’m my freest self!! The world has so much to offer and I hope that you are willing to take advantage of it with me!! I hope that your into doing dishes….I love cooking but dishes aren’t my strong point!! I enjoy kissing and cuddling and I WIll rub my feet on you when I’m cold!! I hope you enjoy art but also enjoy trap music!! It would be nice if you had a huge family my family is tiny so it would be great to get a feel of the huge family life!! Please choose mayo over miracle whip and be really into seafood!! I’m terrible with budgeting so please know that the family budget is all your job!! I plan on being a flight attendant for the rest of my life so I’ll need you to independent enough to survive when I’m away but dependent enough to need me when I’m home!! Oh, when we have kids please plan to gain weight with me…teamwork baby🤘🏾 I know that you’ll be patient enough with me to get through my bad days….as you’ve be patient enough to find me!! And when I say bad days I mean the days where my only child syndrome gets the best of me or days when I feel fat and I’m just not happy with anything or anyone 😩😂 I know relationships are 50/50 deals but understand that when it comes to driving that will be your job %100 of the time 🤷🏾‍♀️ If there is ever a point in our relationship that you feel like you want to see other people…talk to me I’m sure we can work it out or if not I can do different wigs, change my accent, and role play!!😂😩 I plan on being your biggest fan in all of your endeavors!! Although society has changed I hope that you still acknowledge gender roles!! I’m not really good at being dependent or submissive but by the time you get to me I’m sure I’ll have it together!! I have no rhythm so I hope you do for the kids sake!! When I fall asleep on the plane understand that it is your job to get me a drink and food…always choose the chicken option!! I look forward to connecting with you mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally!! I understand that your past is your past….but when you’re ready for me just be sure you’re done with them!! In my mind you’re so strong, so brave, so caring ,so bold….with just the right amount of sensitive!! I pray that we’ll be equally yoked. Do know that there’s no way out…there’s no quitting , giving up, giving in, or getting tired!! No breaks, no recess, no intermission….just consider me your forever fight!! I haven’t met you but I can already tell I love you more than anything in the world!!
With love, 

Your Future Wife