9 days before my 28th birthday at 3:36am I could possibly be laying here tossing and turning and BOTHERED by some shit that happened when I was 7🤦🏾♀️ lol
Cancers are known for forgiving but not forgetting but I really wish I would forget some shit!! I’m currently in a situation where a guy clearly wants to date me and has been COMPLETELY honest about his past and endeavors and for the life of me I can’t get over it! Wait, but not only can I not get over it I can’t address it as an adult to try and move forward either! So I’m stuck sulking in it…using my imagination (in the worse way of course) to fill in the blanks!
This leads me to wonder some things 🤔 am I accustomed to getting lied to , does the truth hurt more than a lie, and how many great things have I missed out because I couldn’t get over a small detail?? This current situation is literally eating me alive. I asked a question and he told the truth and I can’t seem to gather myself now🤦🏾♀️ the silly thing is if he would have lied to me we’d be in a better situation….I mean I wouldn’t be up at 3:48am putting imaginary pieces to an imaginary puzzle together 😩 which leads me to believe I haven’t found happiness in a man because I haven’t discovered the art of letting go…of getting over shit…of living in my truth and accepting someone else’s!!!
That’s where sabotage comes in, but thats a whole new blog🤦🏾♀️
It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve deactivated Instagram and Facebook and a few hours since I finally let Snapchat go😩😩 my goal is to completely let go of it for good!! What was once a fun way to interact with strangers and meet new people is now a headache!! Social media has altered reality so now how things are perceived via social media is what others believe is our reality!!
Our body goals, life goals, travel goals, relationship goals are all influenced by other peoples “social media realities.”
I read an article somewhere that stated that social media is now a leading cause of depression and other mental health issues!! Children are growing up believing their life is only validated by likes and followers! You can call a friend nowadays and wish them happy birthday and later get chewed out because you didn’t tell them via social media😒
I’ve found myself interrupting a perfect moment because I needed to snap real quick 🤦🏾♀️ And this is not new problem for me…I was using AOL cds to get onto black planet 15 years ago😂 MzBrittney_lsd was my screen name 😩😂🤦🏾♀️ social media has always been fun for me…it’s always been my thing!! But at some point enough is enough. I recently had an incident in a Facebook group were a guy I was talking to got caught in a lie…a grown 30 something year old man at that point gets to name calling and bullying!! …because he’s a bad liar🤔 it was at that point that I reached my enough point! I had allowed a person that I didn’t know, that meant nothing to me to hurt my feelings, make me question myself, had me defending my character to other people I don’t know!! Wasted time and energy!! Yep, enough is enough!
My goal in the end is to have more meaningful social interactions because right now my social life (outside of traveling) consists of liking and commenting on people’s pictures! There’s a great need to do better.
I’ll take bitter for 500 Alex 😩😂 this year is no different from any other year on Valentine’s Day for me!! I spent the day on airport alert and then I worked a roundtrip to El Paso!! I didn’t have an official valentine but I do kinda like a guy🙈 lol Nothing major but I ordered a few things from Amazon that I knew he would like and just so happened (😜) to have it delivered on Valentine’s Day 🤦🏾♀️😂 I think I made his day he wasn’t expecting it and I think he actually liked it!! I mean everyone likes to feel special on days like this (even if the won’t admit it) I finished my trip around 8:30pm and headed to the crashpad. Completely bummed about the day!! Between Instagram and Facebook and all the mushy shit in the airport I was second away from sliding in my exes inbox like “hey bighead, wyd?” 😩😂😩😂
I eventually linked up with “the guy” only to see there were no flowers, candy, or cards🤦🏾♀️ boy was I devastated!! Even tho I had coached myself all day to not expect anything…expecatations still got the best of me😩😂😩 I ended up showering and calling it a night!!
I’m already coming up with my game plan for Valentine’s Day 2018…stay tuned😎